Throughout his decades-long career as a firefighter, Pete Fahrenkrug witnessed suffering and death on a regular basis. His life experiences shaped the way he would carry on when faced with his own hardships.
Given all that Pete and his family have endured, anyone hearing the story would forgive him if he indulged in bitterness and self-pity. However, in the face of twists of fate that seem too cruel, Pete has chosen a path of acceptance.
In 2022, Pete, learned he had stage 4 pancreatic cancer. Mere months later, his daughter, Tristin, was diagnosed with brain cancer. Too soon, the disease would rob her of her young life.
“Death is part of life. The day we’re born, we’re given a death sentence,” Pete says, reflecting it on it all. “I know none of us are guaranteed a tomorrow.”
As the 2025 Honorary Sole Burner 5K Walk-Run Survivor, Pete is sharing his message of resilience with others.
Absorbing the News
On Jan. 10, 2022, two years to the day after his retirement, Pete received his cancer diagnosis. Weeks before, on his birthday, Pete had visited the emergency department for severe pain in the left side of his chest. The discomfort he felt turned out to be shingles, but tests uncovered something more serious.
A CT scan revealed a lesion on Pete’s liver. He would later undergo two MRIs and a biopsy. Pete worked within the medical field for years, first as a firefighter and first responder and then as a service manager for an organization that does harvesting for organ and tissue donation. His diagnosis didn’t blindside him.
Pete’s first reaction upon hearing the news might surprise many.
“It was almost like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders of not having to deal with the mundane, day-to-day worries,” he says. “That’s the way that my mind chose to accept it. I never had a poor-me moment.”
Pete, who has 56 at the time, says he didn’t arrive at the sentiment in a single moment. He’d spent much of his time on earth contemplating the way he wants to live his life.
“I felt satisfied that I’d had a good life to begin with,” he says.
Daughter’s Devastating Diagnosis
Pete, a Fox Crossing resident and father of three sons and three daughters, learned that surgery wasn’t possible for his cancer. Chemotherapy was his only option.
Treatments were difficult in the beginning. Pete was exhausted and faced terrible side effects. Over time, his body got used to the chemo, and the treatments became more tolerable.
By late May of 2022, Pete felt quite a bit better. In celebration, he and his wife, Sue, invited their kids and grandkids on a trip to the Outer Banks in North Carolina. The family had a wonderful time together, but dark news would soon follow.
Shortly after returning from the trip, Pete’s youngest daughter, Tristin, called her parents about severe symptoms she’d begun experiencing. She had an awful headache and was vomiting. She’d never had migraines, so Pete advised her to seek emergency treatment.
Tristin, who worked as an accountant for a bank, underwent a CT and MRI. The tests revealed a lesion on her brain. Soon, the 23-year-old would be diagnosed with a grade 4 glioma, an aggressive form of brain cancer.
Just two weeks after returning from the family trip, Tristin traveled to Madison to undergo a craniotomy. Radiation and chemotherapy followed.
Quick Decline
Tristin moved in with her parents after beginning treatment. She and Pete sat in side-by-side recliners. They often spent their days sitting together, watching reality TV. Pete recalls her love of ramen and how he would prepare it just the way she liked it.
Around Christmas of 2023, Tristin started a new round of chemo. Shortly after, she began to struggle and decline. She was discharged from the hospital and entered hospice.
Tristin died in January 2024, leaving behind her adoring parents and siblings, along with countless loved ones and friends. The family held a celebration of her life in her honor.
“Tristin was such a wonderful, giving person,” Pete says. “She had a huge personality and an even bigger smile. She was the favorite ‘auntie’ who was always there for her nieces and nephews.”
The family is still grieving. Pete says it’s hard that he can’t fix that, but he often reminds them of what Tristin would want for them all.
“Don’t feel guilty about living and enjoying and laughing,” he says.
Giving Back
For Pete, now 59, supporting others keeps him going. That dedication began with serving his country for eight years in the U.S. Army’s 82nd Airborne Division as a young man.
As a firefighter with the Oshkosh Fire Department, Pete not only cared for his community but also his colleagues. Through the Professional Firefighters of Wisconsin, he provided support to his peers — whether that was a tough day or grappling with the aftermath of 9/11.
“It’s a natural thing for me, and I enjoy doing it,” says Pete, who follows the example of his dad, a retired fire chief from Neenah who still volunteers at the Wisconsin Veterans Home at King.
Support Through Sorrow
Now, despite coping with his own illness and grief, Pete remains dedicated to giving back. His diagnosis inspired him to get involved with Imerman Angels, a nonprofit that provides one-on-one support to people diagnosed with cancer.
Through his volunteer work, Pete talks at least weekly with a man from New York City who shares Pete’s diagnosis and who’s nearly the same age. The two men talk about everything and nothing, and it helps both.
“I tell him, ‘This is really selfish for me. It makes me feel good that I can help you,’” Pete says of his conversations with his long-distance friend.
Pete supports those close to him as well. When his wife’s cousin and step-brother received cancer diagnoses, he was there for them. He also chats up new people he encounters while receiving biweekly chemo infusions at ThedaCare Regional Cancer Center.
“I would have been ashamed of myself if I hadn’t offered that help I knew they could use,” he says.
Pete, in turn, says he’s grateful for the care he’s received through ThedaCare Cancer Care.
“I’ve been with Dr. [Harsha] Poola and his team. I can’t say enough about them,” he says. “They go about their job with such quiet professionalism.”
“Pete is a fighter — a living example of finding hope and light even in life’s darkest challenges,” Dr. Poola says of his patient. “Through his own journey, he has been a source of strength for his family and loved ones, and a compassionate guide to fellow patients at our cancer center. His resilience and willingness to support others remind us that no one has to face their battle alone. We’re always here to listen and help.”
‘Live Your Life’
Anyone familiar with stage 4 pancreatic cancer knows that the disease carries a low survival rate. Pete says he knows he’s beaten the odds and tries not to overanalyze it. Instead, he chooses to focus on living the rest of his life rather than how many days he might have left.
He doesn’t have grand plans but rather wants to spend his time with his wife, kids, and 12 grandchildren.
“I always look outside in the morning to see if it’s sunny out or cloudy out,” Pete says. “I like cloudy, rainy days just as much as I like sunny days. I want to not get too wrapped up in getting angry about little things.”
For those newly diagnosed with cancer and his fellow survivors, Pete offers a bit of wisdom.
“Be attentive to other people and the earth itself. The cancer can’t win if you live your life. It might beat you in the end, but you can’t let it win.”
To support cancer survivors and patients, please consider donating to the ThedaCare Family of Foundations or the Sole Burner.
