The holiday season offers opportunities for gathering, reflection, and connection with loved ones. During this time of gratitude and giving, ThedaCare specialists say making your health care wishes known to trusted family members and friends might be the best gift.
“Having a conversation in advance means that in the event of a health crisis or accident, your loved ones can be confident in their role to advocate for you, knowing the care you want,” says Jenny Sanderfoot, Advance Care Planning (ACP) specialist with ThedaCare. “That truly is a gift.”
Underused Tool
Statistics show about one-third of Wisconsinites have completed a Power of Attorney for Health Care (POA-HC) form. This gives a designated loved one the legal authority to ensure that your medical wishes are known when you are unable to speak for yourself.
A POA-HC also gives you the chance to express your preferences about life-sustaining treatments, resuscitation, and comfort care. Not having this document leaves many families in a position where they must make difficult decisions without understanding their loved one’s wishes.
“Research has shown that when people have engaged in ACP, their loved ones have clearer insight into their wishes, and less stress, worry, and guilt about ‘doing the wrong thing,’” Sanderfoot says. “They can then focus on being there in your time of need, instead of working with an attorney and going through the court system to ask to be appointed as your legal guardian.”
A Lifelong Process
Wisconsin is not a next-of-kin state. That means friends and family (including spouses) cannot automatically make certain health care decisions for you in the event that you become seriously ill or incapacitated.
“Advance Care Planning is a process where you can clearly note what you want or don’t want and designate someone to speak for you when you can’t through the Power of Attorney for Health Care form,” Sanderfoot says. “It’s a lifelong process that should start when you turn 18 years of age. We continue these conversations and update our documents as we age and life changes.”
Broaching the Topic
The holidays often offer ideal face-to-face opportunities to have the conversation with loved ones. Holidays also tend to inspire reflection on family traditions, values, and life experiences. This introspection can naturally lead to conversations about health care wishes, Sanderfoot says.
“While it may feel uncomfortable at first, it’s an act of kindness to your loved ones,” she says. “It provides clarity, shared understanding, and peace of mind.”
Conversation Starters
Sanderfoot suggests some thoughtful ways to start the conversation without disrupting the spirit of the holidays.
- Use personal stories. Share a story about someone you know who went through a medical emergency without a plan. Or mention a celebrity who made headlines for not having an advance directive in place. This can serve as a natural segue into a discussion about the importance of making wishes known.
- Bring up family traditions. During discussions about family values and traditions, you can gently transition into a conversation about the values that guide your health care decisions and encourage others to share theirs.
- Make it a casual conversation. If your family has a quiet moment over dinner or dessert, bring up the topic in a relaxed setting. You might say, “My doctor told me that it’s important to have an advance directive completed, so I’ve been thinking about making sure my health care wishes are clear. I want to talk with you all about it.”
- Frame it as a positive. Emphasize that by completing ACP documents, you are giving your family the gift of clarity and peace. Explain that you want to make sure they are unburdened with difficult decisions in the future.
- Incorporate it into New Year’s resolutions. As the new year approaches, many people talk about resolutions and goals. Suggest completing a POA-HC form as a New Year’s goal for everyone in the family.
Completing Advance Directive Documents
In Wisconsin, completing a POA-HC form is a straightforward process. The form allows you to name a health care agent — someone you trust to make medical decisions if you are unable to do so. The advance directive form is free to download. It does not require an attorney to complete, but you will need two non-family member witnesses to sign the document.
ThedaCare hosts free facilitation services to complete or update your POA-HC at nine of its locations. Visit the Advance Care Planning webpage for locations and hours, or contact specialists at (920) 454-2969 or ACP@thedacare.org.
Once completed, it’s important to share copies with your health care agent, loved ones, and your health care provider. Keep the original in a safe, accessible place. You can update your document at any time and as many times as you need.
“Everyone I meet with says the same thing: ‘That was so much easier than I thought it would be — not sad or all that hard.’ Or, ‘It feels so much better having this all done and knowing my wishes are documented when I can’t talk for myself,’” Sanderfoot says.
