When someone goes through substance use disorder, it doesn’t happen in isolation. The affected person’s experience also impacts their loved ones.
For family or friends of someone with substance use disorder, it can feel difficult to know how to proceed. You might vacillate between wanting to support, feeling helpless and struggling to cope with the fallout of the loved one’s behavior and decisions.
ThedaCare Behavioral Health recognizes the challenges and complexities of this situation and offers help.
“Substance use affects the entire family, and everyone experiences the traumatic impact,” says Caitlin Reider, a substance use disorder counselor with ThedaCare Behavioral Health. “Family members deserve education and support too.”
Starting the Conversation
Reider admits it’s not easy to broach the topic of a loved one’s drug or alcohol use. She offers a few starters.
“You might notice a loved one is using a substance in a way that concerns you. You can open the conversation by saying, ‘I have concerns about your substance use, and this is what I’m noticing,” she says. “Or I’m worried about you. How can I support you?’ Provide them with caring feedback and support, and avoid accusing the individual.”
Connecting to Help
ThedaCare provides a flexible, comprehensive and goal-orientated substance use disorder treatment approach based on individual patients’ needs.
If the impacted person shows interest in seeking help, ThedaCare Behavioral Health Walk-in Care-Neenah offers no-appointment-needed substance use disorder intake Monday through Friday. This is the first step for someone to receive help.
While the initial session will be held at the Neenah clinic, additional treatment sessions are held at ThedaCare Behavioral Health-Menasha. Substance use disorder services also are available in Berlin, Oshkosh, Shawano and Waupaca.
Self-Care for Loved Ones
Reider realizes some people may not be in the position to have that conversation or that the affected person will not respond positively to a request to seek help. That’s why it’s essential for loved ones of those with substance use disorders to also take care of themselves.
“Boundaries are something we set for ourselves — we can’t force someone else to change their behaviors,” she says. “For example, we can set the boundary that ‘if you yell at me while you’ve been drinking, I am not going to talk to you.’”
When setting boundaries, use I statements, such as, “I won’t ride in a car with you if you’ve been drinking.” And once you set those expectations, make sure you adhere to them.
“You need to think about how to tend to yourself when something happens,” Reider says. “Self-care is essential.”
Nurturing activities could include smelling a scented candle, petting or holding a pet, going for a walk, attending a yoga class, meditating, attending a religious service and spending time with close friends.
Recovering from substance use disorder can take time. Reider encourages loved ones to have a realistic picture of what recovery might look like and to remember that the process is rarely linear.
“It’s important to try to have patience,” she says.
Support Groups Available
Many people benefit from attending a support group because they can connect with others going through similar experiences.
ThedaCare Behavioral Health offers a free weekly drop-in group for adult family members and loved ones of those coping with substance use disorders. Sessions are held Mondays from 5 to 6 p.m. in the Community Room at ThedaCare Behavioral Health-Menasha.
A counselor facilitates the group and helps guide the conversation. Sessions focus on a range of topics from setting boundaries and self-care to going through the healing process. People can attend as often as they want. Participants as young as 14 can attend the support group if they are accompanied by an adult.
If family members and loved ones feel they need more support, individual counseling is available through ThedaCare Behavioral Health.
“Substance use disorder is a heartbreaking disease,” Reider says. “It alters a person’s morals and ethics and the people they love the most are the ones who are the most affected.”
Get help today
Learn more about substance use disorder services through ThedaCare Behavioral Health.
