Many of us look forward to the activities and events that come with the holiday season. At the same time, the season can bring stress, grief or sadness and exacerbate existing mental health issues.
“Sometimes our anticipation of the season can set us up to feel like we’ve failed,” says Gregg Brewer, a Mental Health Clinician with ThedaCare Behavioral Health. “Keeping a focus on our capacity and capabilities can help keep holiday stress to a minimum.”
Setting realistic expectations might mean realizing you can’t do everything this season, or understanding that family relationships won’t magically resolve when you get together, Brewer says. It also might mean setting a budget for holiday expenses to help avoid financial stress in the new year.
10 Tips for Giving Yourself the Gift of Mental Wellness
1. Approach food and drink with intention.
The holidays bring lots of opportunities to overindulge in both food and alcohol. Be mindful of what you’re consuming. Understand that alcohol is a depressant, causes sleep disruption and often leads to health problems. Overeating — particularly unhealthy foods found at holiday parties — also can cause health concerns and lead to weight gain. While overindulging may be fun in the moment, it can lead to negative impacts in the short- and long-term.
2. Give yourself a break.
While it’s important to maintain healthy habits, give yourself grace if you get off track.
“It’s OK not to be perfect — the holidays are temporary,” Brewer says. “But the closer you stick to your routine, the more regulated you will feel and the easier it will be to cope with the stress of the season — and the time that comes after.”
3. Know what you can spend.
“Adding credit card balances to your plate is never a good way to start the new year,” Brewer says. “Financial strain can be one of the biggest stressors on your mental health.”
Instead, set a holiday spending budget. Choosing names for holiday gifts can be a way to avoid having to buy gifts for everyone. Setting limits for gifts also can help keep spending in check.
4. Give yourself permission to take the season off.
Maybe you’re dealing with a recent loss such as the death of a loved one or a divorce. Or you might be experiencing a transition such as a move, career change or new baby.
“The joy and busyness of the season may not be something you can get into this year, and that’s OK,” Brewer says. Give yourself permission to forgo sending cards, baking and decorating. You also can be more selective about the events you attend.
5. Volunteering helps.
While you need to prioritize what fits into your schedule, helping others is proven to have benefits to our health. The holidays bring more opportunities for volunteering. Examples include helping at a toy drive, attending a fundraising event or helping distribute food. Consider spending less on gifts for family and friends and redirecting that money to those in need. You can even give donations as gifts in the names of your loved ones.
6. Lessen loneliness.
The holidays can amplify feelings of loneliness or isolation. If this comes up for you, have a plan. Not everyone is a party person, and that’s not a problem. Prioritize small moments of connection such as coffee with a friend or a phone call with a loved one. You can also connect with others through community organizations, church groups or volunteer opportunities. (Yes, there’s a theme here!)
7. Create a seasonal bucket list.
If there are seasonal-related activities you haven’t done in the past but would like to, find those opportunities this season and make it a point to do them. That might include a seasonal event, a visit to ice caves or castles, or a special volunteer event. This strategy can help you through the winter doldrums as well.
8. Re-evaluate past traditions.
“It’s wonderful to uphold family traditions, but you should take time to review what they have given you and others, and re-evaluate if they still make sense,” Brewer says.
9. The past is not the present.
If the holidays bring up memories of negative experiences as a child, try not to let that dictate your experience now.
“Each season brings an opportunity for new traditions and new memories,” Brewer says. “You are in charge of your experience.”
10. Know what the season means to you.
We’re bombarded with messages about what the holidays should mean to us and how we should spend money and time. None of them matter.
“What matters is what the season means to you and those you choose to spend time with,” Brewer says. “Prioritize your own beliefs about the holiday season and what makes them special to you, whether that means spiritual beliefs or otherwise.”
A Final Note
“Have grace for yourself and don’t be attached to the outcome when it comes to your holiday plans,” Brewer says. “It’s all about staying healthy and making the holidays your own.”
Also, understand that the holidays can amplify mental health issues that are already present. Don’t hesitate to reach out for help if you’re struggling.
For mental health care without the need for an appointment, visit ThedaCare Behavioral Walk-in Care-Neenah, open weekdays from 8 a.m. to 4:30 p.m.
