The holiday season has arrived once again, and the United States is nearing the end of yet another year of coping with challenges brought about by the COVID-19 pandemic. For more than 18 months, people have adjusted how they go about their routines — including holiday traditions and celebrations.
To compensate for the emotional impact of these changes, parents, especially mothers, might feel added pressure to make the holidays special for their children and family. From having family photos taken to mailing holiday cards to baking, it doesn’t take long for good intentions to become overwhelming.
Heading for Burnout
Michelle Janning, a sociologist and professor at Whitman College, studies how modern families define themselves through the display of domestic objects, and use these displays to manage the family image. Mothers, for example, may experience heightened anxiety during the holiday season. This can come through taking on the cleaning, decorating, shopping, cooking, and planning, among other tasks.
Before long, the holidays have come and gone without the opportunity to connect with anyone. Marsha Linehan, a renowned dialectical behavior therapist, refers to this as the “behind the camera effect.” Individuals become distracted and therefore disconnected from the present moment.
If the stress of maintaining holiday traditions has started to outweigh the joy of the season, it might be time to consider a shift. Budget your energy to maximize time with loved ones and minimize stressful preparation and execution.
Here are several suggestions for maintaining your mental health while creating new holiday traditions and memories for your family.
1. Travel Smart
Avoid peak travel days if possible. This will reduce the amount of time you spend on the road or in the airport. Choose a central gathering location to lessen commute times for all. Prioritize which holiday events you will attend and which you will decline. This will help you create a balanced schedule and allow you time to rest and recharge.
2. Don’t Stress Over the Small Things
Exchange the fancy table settings for disposable dinnerware and a self-serve buffet. Let yourself and your children wear pajamas or another casual outfit to make the occasion special, without spending a lot of money on clothes that may only be worn once. Your family won’t remember all the details of the day, but they will remember the quality time spent together.
3. Keep the Meal Simple
Plan your meal to incorporate items you can prepare in advance, and/or request that each guest bring a food item to share. It can be exciting to try the favorite recipes of family and friends. Really stretched for time? Opt for catering our takeout instead.
4. Make the Most of Your Holiday Budget
Set boundaries (and a budget) for holiday spending with a few simple adjustments:
- Shop online. Easily compare prices across multiple online stores, and skip the travel and waiting in line that comes with shopping in person. You can also shop when it’s most convenient for you.
- Shop early. Start shopping a few months in advance to spread out your spending over multiple pay periods and allow time to research the best deals. If you have a good understanding of those you are shopping for, you can often find gift items at a lower cost by shopping during non-holiday periods. During the holidays, costs of items are often inflated due to supply and demand problems.
- Shop local. By supporting small businesses, you are contributing to the strength and future of your local community. Gifts from small businesses often are of greater quality, and you can score some uncommon finds. The recipient is sure to appreciate the thought put into selecting these gifts.
- Shop with purpose. For the children in your life, consider the four-gift giving rule: something they want, something they need, something to wear, and something to read. This provides guardrails to help avoid overspending, incorporates variety, and reduces the number of items that will quickly be placed in a bin for the summer garage sale.
5. Consider Alternative Giving
Rather than exchanging gifts, give experiences. This could be ice skating, a holiday movie with hot chocolate and popcorn, or a game night. The options for creating memories are plentiful, and the memories priceless.
6. Do Good for Others
Participating in meaningful activities is a wonderful stress reliever. Helping others can distract you from your own problems, provide perspective, and promote feelings of belonging and purpose. Some small acts of kindness can include: donating clothes, toys, and books to local shelters; picking up litter; giving someone a compliment; clearing snow from a neighbor’s driveway or vehicle; and opening the door for someone.
7. Remember to Care for Yourself, Too
It’s easy to fill up your calendar with holiday gatherings and end-of-the-year goals. Neglecting yourself in the process could have a serious impact on your physical and mental health. Women, especially, tend to feel extra stress during the holidays. Exercise self-compassion by acknowledging your feelings and treating yourself with kindness. Remember to breathe through the difficult moments. Stay true to yourself, your needs, and your boundaries.
8. Surround Yourself with Love
After several months of limited social gatherings and events, it’s hard not to feel like we’re making up for lost time. Not to mention, many people consider being with family and friends the best part of the holiday season. Scale back this holiday and focus on what matters: human connection, conversation, laughter, and making memories with the people we love.
Need help managing the holiday blues? Connect to support.
