Music lessons. Sports. After-school clubs. Homework. Playdates. If it feels like your child’s calendar could use a professional organizer, it’s possible they’re overscheduled. Replicate that scenario times multiple kids, and you may feel completely overwhelmed. You’re not alone.
“It’s not uncommon for overscheduling to sneak up on you,” says Hannah Gracyalny, a nurse practitioner with ThedaCare Physicians Pediatrics-Darboy. “It often happens through the good intention of wanting to help kids become well-rounded, but having too little free time can take a toll.”
As the beginning of the school year approaches, it’s a good time to take inventory of your child’s schedule. Ask yourself if the load is realistic, and remember that letting a few obligations go could improve quality of life for both you and your child.
Why Overscheduling Happens
Activity overload can creep in for many reasons. Sometimes it sneaks up — signing up for more and more until suddenly you realize you don’t have a free day all week. Other times kids may drive it. For example, they want to participate in both basketball and volleyball.
Perhaps you want the best future for your child, and that looks like exposing them to as many activities and experiences as possible. Or maybe you worry about your child becoming bored if they don’t have something to keep them occupied.
“It’s understandable to want to keep kids engaged in enriching activities,” Gracyalny says. “At the same, it’s important to build in time for rest and unstructured play and, yes, even boredom sometimes.”
Though it’s often seen as a negative, boredom can help kips in several ways, according to the American Academy of Pediatrics (APA). These include honing creativity and imagination and building independence and problem-solving skills.
Upsides of Downtime
It can be easy to dismiss the need for free time, but it’s important for kids of all ages, from toddlers to teens.
For young kids, unstructured play is critical, according to the American Psychological Association. This type of free play bolsters kids’ physical, emotional, mental and social health. It also helps them develop creativity, problem solving and critical thinking, while at the same time allowing them to determine what they’re interested in.
“Make time for unstructured play in your child’s day, and consider getting in on the fun with them,” Gracyalny says. “Engaging in play with your child helps build your relationship and encourages healthy attachment.”
Enriching unstructured activities can include drawing, arts and crafts, biking, hands-on play with toys and reading.
As the stresses of school and activities mount, building in downtime is also important for older kids and teens. They need opportunities to rest their minds and bodies, and to spend time with friends.
Signs of Overload
Your child may not say outright that they feel overwhelmed, but signs of burnout can appear in several ways. Watch for:
- Irritability
- Mood swings
- Anxiety
- Poor or worsening school performance
- Loss of interest in favorite activities
- Physical symptoms such as headaches, stomachaches and difficulty sleeping
“Also remember that overscheduling can impact the whole family,” Gracyalny says. “That includes exhausted parents or caregivers and siblings who may go along for the ride to the many activities.”
How to Create Balance
Each child and family is unique, and there’s no simple formula for determining the “right” amount of downtime. The APA recommends trying to ensure kids have at least two or three days a week that are free of back-to-back time commitments.
Considerations as you evaluate what’s right for your child and family may include:
- Your child’s personality, temperament and maturity level. Some kids may thrive on more activity, while others might need more downtime.
- How many schedules you’re balancing. If you have multiple kids, you may need to weigh how many activities you can accommodate for each child. This well help teach kids about family dynamics and the importance of prioritizing everyone’s needs.
- The needs of the whole family. Parents and guardians are busier than ever. The stress of endless obligations can add up and affect everyone. Also, remember what you as an adult are modeling. Take care to build in downtime for yourself as well.
“Your child may say they want to do everything, but encourage them to focus on one or two favorite activities, especially as they get older and responsibilities multiply,” Gracyalny says.
Support for Your Child — and You
Your pediatric team is here to help with all issues that impact your child’s health and well-being. If you have questions about the right balance of activities for your child, schedule an appointment or ask at your child’s next well visit.
To schedule, call your child’s pediatric clinic location or schedule online.
